"Bite the Bullet"?
(Um... Can I just say, "yikes!")

The following is apparently not meant to be a joke. (Or, should I at least say, fictitious...)

"'Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.'

Beloved words penned by our favorite poet. And how apt they are.

Except, oh, say, about 50 percent of the time. Then, where impediments are insurmountable, let us involve cutthroat divorce lawyers and praise loophole-free prenups.

And, then, let’s make sure we do something suitable with that newly obsolete wedding ring — like send it to Goddammo. Just give them your band and they’ll melt it down and mold it into a symbol more apropos of your recently deceased love: a bullet.

Bullets come in 9 millimeter or .223 caliber, depending on how much metal you start off with. (Some can even be engraved.) Imagine the therapy the memento will save by reminding you on lonely nights why you split from your ex in the first place. Perhaps it will even bring to mind the immortal words: 'Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. You give love a bad name.' Penned, of course, by our second favorite poet. Available online at

(from Daily Candy-Everywhere, Nov. 4)

I personally like this caveat on the manufacturer's website: "Keep in mind that the bullets have no gunpowder."


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