The Best of... : The Mafia

I've been disseminating (hmmm... interesting word choice...) news items and commentary over the internet to family and friends for a while now, long before the advent of blogs!

Going through my "archives," I found some fun old pieces that I thought would be worth recycling here. Enjoy!
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From the newspaper "The European," 20 May 1994:

"An increase in heart disease among the criminal population of Italy's southern region of Calabria, where mafia crime has become increasingly violent since the 1970s, is a clear sign, a leading Italian doctor and criminologist claims, that crime does not pay. Dr. Francesco Aragona has coined the term Reggio di Calabria syndrome, which he describes as a condition in which the psychological toll of killing is reflected in failing physical health. He says Italy's Mafiosi often have depleted sperm counts, induced by stress, as well as high blood pressure and a high incidence of kidney failures and ulcers." The poor dears!

Actually, that sounds rather like a bad joke, doesn't it? Um... how do you get a sperm sample from a mafioso?

At the time, my friends responded...

The Top Four Answers: {drum roll please!}
4) "VERY carefully."
3) "At gunpoint."
2) "I'm not certain, but I'd guess it all stays in The Family."

And the #1 answer...

(evidence even then of the infinite & eternal wit & wisdom of Tom...)

1) "MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE!"

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